It (that being, my writing life, when I decided that maybe I can finally call myself a Writer) started in 2020 when I joined The Writer's Studio at SFU. It was then I began my early “vomit first drafts” in the safe and motivating space that was Kevin Chong's workshop. Since then, I've popped up on some CNF content shortlists (Malahat Review, CNFC/Humber Literary Review, EVENT), as well as received (and spent..) a Canada Council for the Arts grant for emerging writers to work on my first book: an anti-war memoir that follows a young woman’s search for belonging in the Canadian diaspora.
I was born to parents of mixed descent in a country in the Balkans that no longer exists. When a war pushed us out of my homeland, I began a journey of self-discovery in foreign lands and in the landscape of stories, which had me increasingly wondering about not only “who my people are,” but also who others raise us to be and ultimately the question of who decides who we become.
I’ve been writing and researching my book for a number of years now. I’ve taken extended retreats on the Sunshine Coast, in my hometown of Sarajevo, and in the mountains of Zlatibor in Serbia. I’ve sat with my laptop at various airports around the world while in transit with a hotspot and on planes in offline mode. And most of all, I’ve diligently sat at my desk at home or some quaint coffeeshop in Vancouver at wee hours of the morning, on flex days from work, and on many a Sunday. It’s been a long journey, finding the time and space amidst a life where most of my hours are spent working or sleeping—but I’ve also been lucky to have a supportive workplace, a supportive partner, and the privileges of a lifestyle that allows me to prioritize a creative life.
But, I admit "the end" has been a moving target. When I first started, progress looked like words on a page. As I entered my 4th draft of 140,000 words, rephrasing and rewriting, hacking away at the text, and revising this monster of a work, progress became harder to see.
The rare "your piece has been shortlisted!" email in my inbox doesn't always do it for me anymore. Often, I fear that I'll never finish this thing.
Many people who know how central this project has been to my life over recent years, ask me how my book is coming along. I used to love this question. But these days, I tend to dread it because the answer is always the same: "It's not finished yet. Lots more work ahead…"
On good days, I know I'm making progress. I know that each wall and stall is necessary. Nothing is wasted.
But there are many bad days, when I doubt myself. Then, even more days go by where I don't find time to sit down to even think about my memoir, let alone do something with it.
But when a dear friend asked me a different question, something shifted. She asked me, "How can I support?" (Thank you, CH.) This touched me deeply. It hadn’t occurred to me that my greatest asset is my community and that it was a great idea to give folks a chance to do just that: support me. So, I decided it was time to try and capture my progress in some way. Though it’s hard to quantify at the manuscript level, I hoped that blogging may help.
So, here's my answer to that new question: Please "like and subscribe" and follow along in my journey as I document my writing practice here on a journey of visions and revisions. I will share reflections on where I'm at and "think out loud" for your pleasure and entertainment, with content published at least once a week. I may even drop some excerpts of work-in-progress for my paid subscribers as a token of extra appreciation.
Why subscribe?
I appreciate the chance to build up a readership before my book is published. Every subscription is a vote of confidence in my work and helps to keep me going because it reminds me that my readers are out there. Thank you :)
Paid subscriptions also help as they keep me more accountable (as well as go toward submission fees and the odd caffeine fix, that are essential to build an audience and a writerly reputation).
1. Stay up-to-date
Subscribe to get full access my publication archives, as well as every post straight to your inbox. For paid subscribers, I’ll also share works-in-progress and excerpts from pieces that I’m submitting.
2. Bounce ideas
There is strength in numbers! Participate in the comments section to share your perspective, change my mind, recommend an article — every idea counts and will help me refine my thoughts about the world and the narrative it’s helping me develop.
I am also a professional writer and editor with over a decade of experience working with creators. Paid subscribers can submit questions to me which I will answer once a month to an exclusive group of patrons.
3. $upport my work
My wish is to one day share my story with readers so that it can change minds, hearts, and lives, but this will come at a cost to me, emotionally and physically, but also financially. Historically, many artists relied on patronage from wealthy individuals, churches, or royal courts to fund their work. Today, it’s far less common but no less needed.
There are a lot of barriers in publishing, and there are costs associated with sharing writing in credible and safe spaces. Submissions to contests and literary mags come with reading fees, anywhere from a few dollars to as much as $35 per submission. And in Canada, even if a book finds its way to a bookstore shelf, very little goes back to the writer in the end (even if the book becomes a coveted Bestseller, believe it or not). There are self-publishing options as well, but those too come with a cost.
While writing this book is first and foremost a labour of love, I will be the first to admit that there’s no such thing as a free lunch. I appreciate those who can and want to support me with a modest donation or a monthly or annual subscription. All this to say, every little helps.
